I don’t see you walking children in nature

I’m at our old apartment doing some cleaning and I can’t wait to accidentally throw away all of my roommate’s animal print rugs and curtains

Who could even put up with such a squeaky bed when fucking. This is so over the top. Either I’m boring or I just don’t know how truly bomb dick can be, but I can’t figure out how people can be so excited about the sex they’re having for it to be so loud and raucous!

Everybody is fucking on a Sunday night! Wow. It’s my first night sleeping at my new apartment and I now know that both my next door neighbor and my upstairs neighbor have such creaky beds! And the person upstairs likes to go twice in one night. This is pretty obnoxious but idk what to do about it. Just another example of the stress my gay soul has to endure I guess. Fuck the Hetero Orthodoxy

My new old white neighbor gave me such an old white glare as I walked toward my apartment. When I said hello he replied “I didn’t order nothin.”

do y’all think it’s time to find a new boo when he starts sending you pictures of puppies apropos of nothing because that’s happened to me like twice already

my least favorite thing to happen at work is when people invite me to join in when talking shit about their friends/family??? most commonly men asking me to agree that their girlfriends look fat (what the fuck is wrong with you)

today these two oblivious and hurtful monster women were giving this young girl, one of their daughters I guess, probably middle school-aged (the absolute worst time to be making your children feel self-conscious and inadequate!!! obviously?) a really hard time about trying on skinny jeans and they kept trying to get me to tell her she didn’t look good and that she’s not “skinny” enough for “skinny” jeans. are you kidding.

did you give Kim her 10s for scoring that grindr advertisement? your faves could never!

I hate being high at parties like bye I’d rather be at home by myself watching Daria